Boy oh boy oh boy! Haven't paid a visit to my blog in a super LONG time. Where have I been lately? Where do I even begin? I should probably start with the best news…Isaac William Pak! Yep, we've got ourselves a beautiful baby boy and what a miracle he's been to us from the start. Let's rewind to June 2012 when I called my OB/GYN requesting an appointment to get started on some birth control. My OB/GYN was out on vacation so I was directed to the doc on call. She was reading up on my medical history and felt it may not be necessary to be on birth control since I may have become infertile from past chemo treatments. She ordered a blood test to check my FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone) level to determine how fertile (or infertile) I was. Results showed that my level of 27 was extremely high and meant that it would be "highly unlikely to ever get pregnant." Her words exactly. I trusted her judgement and decided to forgo birth control.
Fast forward 4 months, a positive pregnancy test and a stunned parent-to-be. Eugene and I nearly fainted at the shock and awe of the news. Ok, so after the shock wore off, we were pretty darn excited to be expecting a boy. It was a wonderful pregnancy, void of any sickness. Then the 3rd trimester hit and I was miserable. I was stricken with sharp debilitating pain in my lower back which sent me to bed rest most of the time. Then in April 2013, I experienced enormous pain in my left side and went straight to the ER. The CT scan showed I was experiencing a pulmonary embolism or a blood clot but the worst news was that my cancer had returned. The cancer had metastasized to my bones, liver and lungs. I was numb with fear. Not only did I have to deal with this horrid disease again, but now I had a living baby inside me surrounded by cancer lesions.
After dealing with a series of tests and lots of hospital stays, Isaac was born 34 weeks on May 21, 2013. My good ole placenta protected Isaac from the cancer lesions. Praise God! Oh, and I nearly died on the operating table. During the delivery, I had lost so much blood and the docs had to give me a blood transfusion which ultimately led to me having a hematoma (blood collection in my belly) which I'm still dealing with today. After Isaac's birth, I was placed in ICU to for monitoring and there were touch-and-go moments since my blood levels were at a dangerous level and I almost had to go in for another surgery to stop the active bleeding. Fortunately, doctors were able to avoid surgery and decided to conduct an embolization to stop the bleeding which has helped thus far. Once I was stabilized, I began my first of many chemo treatments during my stay at the hospital.
So, here I am in the new year. Having to endure another bout of cancer. It is much more challenging this go around then last time. In addition to the "not fun" side effects from chemo, I now have chronic back pain due to a compression fracture in my lower vertebrae, mild pain in my belly due to the hematoma and an infant child to care for. But through it all, God has helped me find the joy in my sufferings. He has been so faithful and merciful throughout my journey and I am assured that He will continue to care for me in the long days ahead.
I am in awe of God's glory and his hand in all of this. He is the reason I can make it through each day with a smile on my face, in spite of the pain and nausea I have to endure. Just seeing my children everyday gives me so much reason to live. And my darling husband has been my rock and strength. I can't even begin to tell you how much he's done to support me and the kids. A true man of God. I love him so.
Thanks for letting me share my long-winded story. :)
My precious kids: Maddy-7, Alicia-6, and Isaac-7 months
Isaac just a week ago. Loves to sit in his Stokke.
Maddy and Alicia chillin' in their new minivan.
