Selling Cookies

On Sunday, Maddy put on her salesgirl hat and pitched for her Brownie troop by selling Girl Scout cookies. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. We set up a booth in front of our neighborhood Starbucks and Maddy along with three other Brownie members, approached each customer asking politely if he/she would like to buy a box of Girl Scout cookies. After two hours, the Brownies sold 48 boxes. Not too shabby!

Future Business Leaders of America

Little Miss Maddy hard at work

Fun times with big sis Alicia

Eugene's mini-me

Happy baby before heading out to church 

It's 5:00 in the morning...

My sweet baby boy decided to give out a loud cry at 4:00 this morning. I wanted him to cry it out but he wouldn't let up. As I went in to pick him up from his pack and play (he's not in a crib for reasons I will explain later) I noticed his clothes were soaked. Poor baby was wet and soiled from his diaper leaking.  I felt so bad for Ikey and gave him a bottle to soothe him while I changed him out of his wet clothes. I used to be so miserable when I was sleep training Ikey. No one likes to being sleep deprived. But these days, I sneak into his room while he's sleeping and have to stop myself from wanting to hold him. He's getting so big now and in no time I will not be able to hold him.

I've been thinking about death a lot, especially since my time on this earth has been dramatically shortened due to my sickness. It pains me to no end that my children may possibly grow up without a mother but I have to trust that God will continue to take care of them in my absence. Oftentimes I joke about my inevitable demise with friends and I get rebuked for thinking so morbidly about my life. Perhaps I'm trying to be realistic and slowly preparing myself for the inevitable. It's a very difficult place to be in. I can deal with the side effects and symptoms that come with this disease but the notion of dying is a hard pill to swallow. I know God has incredible plans for me and I don't want to insult him by throwing in the towel. I have to remain strong and hopeful. If you're reading this, I ask if you could pray for me and that I will not succumb to giving up. Fighting off depression is a daily battle for me and it is imperative that I lean on God for support and strength to get through each day. With God by my side, whom or what can I fear?