Am I really on chemo?

Feeling fantastic! Unlike the last four rounds of chemo, this new round with Taxol and Herceptin was a breeze with absolutely no nausea! I can't help but wonder if the nurse even administered chemo to me? I'm floored with how great I feel but am also thankful for God's continuing mercies upon me.

Getting ready for tomorrow's visit to the chemo clinic. Hopefully I can squeeze in a movie or two since I'll probably be stuck in the clinic for more than 3 hours. Thanks Jean C for providing a healthy supply of chick flick DVDs to help pass the time.

God bless!

New Cocktail

More than once I've been told to update my blog more often. I don't know why I have been neglecting my poor blog. I'll definitely make a concerted effort to keep you up to date in regards to my health and state of mind.

Can you believe I'm half-way done with chemotherapy? As triumphant and relieving it is to know that I've hit the half-way mark, I can't help but struggle with feelings of nervousness as I prepare for tomorrow's round of chemo. I'll be administered with a new "cocktail" of chemo drugs and am not looking forward to the side effects. But I have to maintain my trust in the Lord and take comfort in His sovereignty. As I shared with the moms in my weekly bible study, I want to be able to find joy during this time of struggle and uncertainty. Though I may not understand why this trial has been placed in my life, I believe that God has orchestrated every single event in my life for His own glory.

So, I've committed to memorizing a set of Fighter Verses with a couple of friends from church. I'm not exactly astute when it comes to memorization (I blame MOMnesia) so this is going to be quite a challenge for me but one I'm truly looking forward to. Here's the first one I'm currently meditating on:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. YOu will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the Lord." Jeremiah 29: 11-14a

Please keep me in your prayers as I begin weekly doses of chemotherapy. Pray that my body would respond well to the drugs and that side effects would be minimal. And though I will be hit with fatigue and possibly nausea, pray that it would not cause me to lose patience with my children and my husband.

Thank you and God bless!

Feeling Optimistic

Soon after the 3rd round of chemotherapy, my body got struck with a nasty cold. I'm telling you, it was like being hit by several Mac trucks. I was out of commission for several days and it took about 2 weeks to finally feel like my old self. I'm so thankful to God that I never suffered a fever during that time because my doctor has warned me that if I ever get to a temperature of 100.5, I have to check myself into the ER. Cannot risk the possibility of getting an infection, especially with my immune system being so low.

The best medicine I can ever receive is a visit from old friends. Last weekend, my friend Sally and her family drove all the way from SD and graced us with their presence. It was a wonderful time of catching up, seeing our children playing with one another, and reminiscing about the old days. Though our time together was brief, I was so blessed to hear how God has worked in Sally and Joon's lives and how faithful He has been to their family. I miss them already. :(

Maddy enjoying her time with J, K, and L

Go Lancers! Sunny Hills HS graduates (excluding Julie and Soo)

I'm gearing up for my next round of chemo tomorrow. Not much to look forward to except that it will be my last stint with the drugs Adriamycin and Cytoxan (A/C). These two drugs are known to cause nausea and other side effects which I have experienced most if not all. I've been assured by my doctor and nurse that the next set of drugs I'm scheduled to receive on October 21st - Taxol, Herceptin and Lapatinib - shouldn't cause nausea but I'll experience much more fatigue. So I'll be trading in one bad side effect for another. No sweat...God is faithful and just. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

My latest prayer requests:
1) As I enter the last phase of the A/C drug, I pray that my body will respond well to the chemotherapy and that the anti-nausea medication will work its magic.
2) I would remain faithful in spending quality time with God. My QT hasn't been as regular as I would like and I don't want use chemo as a reason NOT to spend time with God.

Praises:
1) Doctor's visit this morning offered some refreshing news. She feels as if the lump in my breast is becoming softer and smaller. Yea!
2) My nurse called me today to report that my protein level is HIGH! Thank goodness for Muscle Milk. :)
3) I've gained weight. Now, normally this wouldn't be something I'd be celebrating but I need to bulk up in preparation for future treatments.

Lastly, I would like to send a special *Shout Out* to my wonderful friends who walked and/or ran in Sunday's Susan G. Komen's Race for the Cure event. I was deeply touched and humbled by your act of love and compassion. Thank You to...
(not pictured) Grace, Sung, Chris, J, and J

Jina, Grace, Jin, and C


Lori, Teresa, Liza, April and Kim

Feeling Super!

Thank you for your prayers! The Lord has granted me with so much energy and I've been feeling so healthy and fantastic since the last post. Side effects have been minimal and I've been eating voraciously! Plus, I've been incredibly blessed with friends and family who have been so helpful during those not-so-great days. Just last week, my dearest and closest friend, Liza, took a week off from work just to take care of me and the kids. She arrived with a suitcase full of activities and crafts and the kids had such a blast with Auntie Liza. We miss her dearly and hope she'll grace us with her presence again!

I can't believe we've entered the fall season. Maddy's already been in school for two weeks and Alicia started this past Thursday. Where did the summer go? Here are some family pics from our summer vacation...


Family trip to the Happiest Place on Earth




Posing with Princess Tiana


Spent many hot summer days serving popcorn from this Main Street wagon


Breakfast with Minnie and friends


Hi, Tigger!


Brother's graduation ceremony from Fuller Seminary


See Jane Run
Ran the 5K while the ladies in the red bibs ran the 1/2 marathon (crazies!)


4th of July in Santa Barbara
Maddy & KK


de Young museum in SF


Happy Anniversary!


"Hurray for Helen" party...LOVE these women


Loved these cupcakes



First day of Jr. Kindergarten for Maddy

Please continue to life me up in your prayers as I prepare for another round of chemotherapy on Thursday, September 9th. I am not looking forward to another bout of nausea and fatigue but I am encouraged when I read this bible verse found in Psalms 56:3-4
"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?"

Dear friends, your prayers are not wasted. God has been so merciful and gracious to me and it is by the power of your prayers and support that have sustained me thus far. Thank you for being such wonderful prayer warriors on my behalf. I love you!


I

2nd Round...Still Fighting!

Last Thursday I experienced my second round of chemotherapy and I have to say, this time around was pretty rough. The actual infusion was about the same and the nausea hit at about the same rate but I did prepare myself with an arsenal of drugs. However, even with the large amount of anti-nausea drugs in my system, the nausea was somewhat debilitating. My appetite was pretty much non-existent for the first 3 days but by the grace of God, my stomach started growling last night, just in time for me to accept a delicious meal from friends, Linda and Meg.

In the midst of my sickness, I would cry out, "Lord, look upon my need. Have mercy now on me," and without fail, He allowed me to taste His mercy and experience His goodness. God is gracious and so good to His faithful children. Even in times of periodic, "Oh, why me, Lord!" God responds with His gentle care and reminder that He'll never leave me nor forsake me.

I'm going to switch gears and talk about my hair, or lack thereof. The deed has been done and as of last Tuesday, I am now sporting a semi-bald head. Semi, you ask? It seems like I have a certain number of hair follicles that are holding on for dear life. Prior to using the hair clippers, Eugene brushed my hair to see if he could release all of my hair from my scalp. It's pretty ridiculous how much head of hair I used to have. After 15 minutes of laboriously brushing out my hair, Eugene turned on the clippers...buzz! At this point, I wanted the hair off of my head. No emotion, no tears. With a few prickly hairs on my head, I'm starting to get used to my new do. Even the girls are used to my new look. Madeline, upon first glance at my head, just responded with a very nervous giggle and Alicia tilted her head in confusion and said, "Why you have spiky hair, Mommy?" Maybe I'll have the courage to post a pic of my new head....or NOT!

Going, going, (almost) gone

Hair loss is imminent. If you've had the displeasure of seeing chunks of hair fall from my head, then you know life as a baldy is quickly approaching. I've reached a point where I just want Eugene to shave it all off. Seeing locks of my hair on my pillow, on the floor, and just about everywhere is driving me bonkers and I'm ready to let it all go. Parting with my hair is not as easy as I thought it would be but I keep reminding myself that this, too, will be temporary. Farewell to what's left of the hair on my head. Maybe I'll muster enough courage to post a pic of my new hairdo. :)

Thanksgiving

I'm overwhelmed with thankfulness from everyone's well-wishes and encouragements. Truly it is by the sure grace of God and by the prayers of many warriors in my life that have allowed me to press on in this fight against cancer. I find incredible comfort in knowing that people near and far are praying for me...only our Heavenly Father could have provided such an awesome community for me.

Last week, our family was so blessed to have my beautiful sister-in-law, Sharon, visit us from Texas to care for all of us. She's a busy mom of three young children and works part-time and yet she made time to be with me. Sharon selflessly prepared meals for all of us, cleaned the house, played with my kids, and accompanied me on my evening stroll around the neighborhood. By the end of the week, I felt so energized and healthy (gained 2 lbs.) and I owe it all to my wonderful sister, Sharon. I'm so encouraged by her faith and trust in the Lord and am so thankful that God brought this beautiful person into our family. I love you, Sharon! :)

Evidence of God's goodness and grace unfolds everyday and I truly "count it all joy, (my brothers), when I meet trials of various kinds, for I know that the testing of MY faith produces steadfastness." James 1:2-3. One such evidence of His goodness is that my energy level is really good and I have felt neither nausea nor pain for over a week. Yea! My appetite is especially good, perhaps a little too good since I seem to be gaining weight. My mother arrived last night and has been cooking up a storm. I'm sure I'll be tipping the scales by the end of the week. Oi vey!

In case you're wondering, the hair is still intact. However, I feel an odd tingling sensation in my scalp, as if my hair follicles are loosening. Had a little fun shopping for a wig last weekend. Wish I could post pictures but I don't know how to transfer photos from my iPhone. Tech support, help! Can't decide between human hair (feels oh-so-soft and silky) or synthetic hair (light weight but doesn't feel as nice). Price difference is substantial but looking good will attribute to making me feel better. You catch my drift?

Prayer Requests:
1) During my mother's visit, I desire to humbly receive her counsel and help and want to show her how much I appreciate her.
2) Protection over Eugene while he works in Alaska this week.
3) Patience over Maddy and Alicia. I've become so short and abrasive towards them. I pray that I would be more tender and loving towards them, even in the midst of their misbehavior and disobedience.
4) Preparation for Round 2 (Aug 19th). Rumor has it that with each chemotherapy treatment, side effects will intensify. I pray that I would not be fearful nor anxious going into next week's treatment. God will be with me all the way!