Presidents' Day Wknd Stay-cation

Family pics at the Marin Headlands. 6 years ago, I participated in my first (and last) EnviroSport race. A very difficult 7 mile run with crazy hills and rough terrain. The last 1/2 mile was on the beach! What crazy moron thought of that? Anyhoo, it was freezing cold when we visited the beach and stood outside just long enough to take pictures. 

My cousin Sonny and his beautiful wife, Jessica, visited from LA and we had such a blessed reunion. What an amazing journey these two have been through to become husband and wife and Sonny's personal testimony is so encouraging and inspiring. God has been incredibly faithful and merciful to Sonny as he experienced life as a gang member, suffered the loss of both parents, and struggled with drugs. I can't even begin to explain his life story and I hope one day Sonny will be able to share his testimony to a broader audience. Praise be to God for His unconditional love and promises. 

Date Night

Date nights are few and far between these days. However, when the opportunity arises I take advantage of painting my face and dressing up...two things I rarely do these days. On most days you'll catch me in sweats and leggings sans makeup. So please allow me to indulge and show you a rare pic of me looking presentable.

With the hat

Without the hat

Girl Scout Cookie Season Has Arrived!

The ever-popular Thin Mints

Maddy has joined Girl Scout Troop 33581 and her first assignment is to sell as many Girl Scout cookies as she possibly can. It is my job to loosen the reins and allow her to interact with customers and sell the cookies on her own. I've already failed in this department by sending out announcements to friends and home group members to pre-order cookies. Oh geez, another example of my helicopter parenting style. Let's hope she gains invaluable experience through goal setting, decision making, money management, people skills and business ethics. Heck, let's hope I can learn a thing or two as well! 

Down For the Count

My poor family has been hit hard with the cold and/or flu. First victim was baby Isaac with a persistent runny nose and cough. He also suffered through an ear infection in both ears. Poor kid. Then Alicia was the next victim with a sore throat and nasty cough, which is still lingering. I was next in line with a painful sore throat and runny nose. My doc postponed today's chemo session to next week since I have to be in good health to receive the chemo medicine. And then poor Eugene got the worst of it. Fever, cold sweat, little nausea, and congestion. Haven't seen him this sick since I had my myomectomy in 2004. Praying for God's mercy and protection over our family. 

Happy Birthday Eugene! 2-5-2014

Happy birthday to my wonderful husband, Eugene. Everyday I give thanks to God for blessing me with such a generous and thoughtful man. He is the quintessential "behind-the-scenes" guy and never seeks attention nor adulation. Since my sickness he has assumed both parenting roles and does it without complaint. I am utterly in awe of his selflessness and willingness to serve our family this way. I love him so much and he is my inspiration to keep fighting. Here's to many more birthdays we can celebrate together!

Birthday bundt cake

Birthday lemon yogurt cake (first cake I've baked since Ikey was born)

It's 5:00 in the morning...

My sweet baby boy decided to give out a loud cry at 4:00 this morning. I wanted him to cry it out but he wouldn't let up. As I went in to pick him up from his pack and play (he's not in a crib for reasons I will explain later) I noticed his clothes were soaked. Poor baby was wet and soiled from his diaper leaking.  I felt so bad for Ikey and gave him a bottle to soothe him while I changed him out of his wet clothes. I used to be so miserable when I was sleep training Ikey. No one likes to being sleep deprived. But these days, I sneak into his room while he's sleeping and have to stop myself from wanting to hold him. He's getting so big now and in no time I will not be able to hold him.

I've been thinking about death a lot, especially since my time on this earth has been dramatically shortened due to my sickness. It pains me to no end that my children may possibly grow up without a mother but I have to trust that God will continue to take care of them in my absence. Oftentimes I joke about my inevitable demise with friends and I get rebuked for thinking so morbidly about my life. Perhaps I'm trying to be realistic and slowly preparing myself for the inevitable. It's a very difficult place to be in. I can deal with the side effects and symptoms that come with this disease but the notion of dying is a hard pill to swallow. I know God has incredible plans for me and I don't want to insult him by throwing in the towel. I have to remain strong and hopeful. If you're reading this, I ask if you could pray for me and that I will not succumb to giving up. Fighting off depression is a daily battle for me and it is imperative that I lean on God for support and strength to get through each day. With God by my side, whom or what can I fear? 

My friend, Lenie

My beautiful friend, Lenie Ramos Trent, stayed with us last weekend. Purpose of her visit was to take care of me and my children while Eugene was away for the weekend. She was incredibly generous with her time and left her family behind to be with me and the kids. Our time together was so precious and I am so thankful our friendship has stood the test of time and distance.

Lenie and I met the Fall of '92 during Sorority Rush. We bonded instantly during that "grueling" week of trying to figure out which house to choose. Inevitably, we went our separate ways as she pledged Kappa Delta and I pledged Chi Omega. Even though we were in different sororities, we remained extremely close and spent so much time together. Oh, the wild and crazy things we did together. So many fraternity parties, fraternity formals, spring break excursions to Lake Havasu, ski trips to Mammoth, and other crazy adventures, much of which I cannot disclose for fear my girls may read this one day and would be shocked by some of my absurd shenanigans. But, we were young and stupid, for the most part, and thought we were so invincible.

Sigma Phi Epsilon Spring formal 94 

So young and not so innocent. Haha!

Lenie by my side 
July 20, 2002

Our goofball offspring

Me and Lenie today

God was certainly watching over me during those "rebellious" years and I thank Him for his unending grace upon me. I look back at my younger years with some embarrassment but without any regret. My life experiences, good and bad, made me who I am today. I was and still am a child of God.