2nd Round...Still Fighting!

Last Thursday I experienced my second round of chemotherapy and I have to say, this time around was pretty rough. The actual infusion was about the same and the nausea hit at about the same rate but I did prepare myself with an arsenal of drugs. However, even with the large amount of anti-nausea drugs in my system, the nausea was somewhat debilitating. My appetite was pretty much non-existent for the first 3 days but by the grace of God, my stomach started growling last night, just in time for me to accept a delicious meal from friends, Linda and Meg.

In the midst of my sickness, I would cry out, "Lord, look upon my need. Have mercy now on me," and without fail, He allowed me to taste His mercy and experience His goodness. God is gracious and so good to His faithful children. Even in times of periodic, "Oh, why me, Lord!" God responds with His gentle care and reminder that He'll never leave me nor forsake me.

I'm going to switch gears and talk about my hair, or lack thereof. The deed has been done and as of last Tuesday, I am now sporting a semi-bald head. Semi, you ask? It seems like I have a certain number of hair follicles that are holding on for dear life. Prior to using the hair clippers, Eugene brushed my hair to see if he could release all of my hair from my scalp. It's pretty ridiculous how much head of hair I used to have. After 15 minutes of laboriously brushing out my hair, Eugene turned on the clippers...buzz! At this point, I wanted the hair off of my head. No emotion, no tears. With a few prickly hairs on my head, I'm starting to get used to my new do. Even the girls are used to my new look. Madeline, upon first glance at my head, just responded with a very nervous giggle and Alicia tilted her head in confusion and said, "Why you have spiky hair, Mommy?" Maybe I'll have the courage to post a pic of my new head....or NOT!

Going, going, (almost) gone

Hair loss is imminent. If you've had the displeasure of seeing chunks of hair fall from my head, then you know life as a baldy is quickly approaching. I've reached a point where I just want Eugene to shave it all off. Seeing locks of my hair on my pillow, on the floor, and just about everywhere is driving me bonkers and I'm ready to let it all go. Parting with my hair is not as easy as I thought it would be but I keep reminding myself that this, too, will be temporary. Farewell to what's left of the hair on my head. Maybe I'll muster enough courage to post a pic of my new hairdo. :)

Thanksgiving

I'm overwhelmed with thankfulness from everyone's well-wishes and encouragements. Truly it is by the sure grace of God and by the prayers of many warriors in my life that have allowed me to press on in this fight against cancer. I find incredible comfort in knowing that people near and far are praying for me...only our Heavenly Father could have provided such an awesome community for me.

Last week, our family was so blessed to have my beautiful sister-in-law, Sharon, visit us from Texas to care for all of us. She's a busy mom of three young children and works part-time and yet she made time to be with me. Sharon selflessly prepared meals for all of us, cleaned the house, played with my kids, and accompanied me on my evening stroll around the neighborhood. By the end of the week, I felt so energized and healthy (gained 2 lbs.) and I owe it all to my wonderful sister, Sharon. I'm so encouraged by her faith and trust in the Lord and am so thankful that God brought this beautiful person into our family. I love you, Sharon! :)

Evidence of God's goodness and grace unfolds everyday and I truly "count it all joy, (my brothers), when I meet trials of various kinds, for I know that the testing of MY faith produces steadfastness." James 1:2-3. One such evidence of His goodness is that my energy level is really good and I have felt neither nausea nor pain for over a week. Yea! My appetite is especially good, perhaps a little too good since I seem to be gaining weight. My mother arrived last night and has been cooking up a storm. I'm sure I'll be tipping the scales by the end of the week. Oi vey!

In case you're wondering, the hair is still intact. However, I feel an odd tingling sensation in my scalp, as if my hair follicles are loosening. Had a little fun shopping for a wig last weekend. Wish I could post pictures but I don't know how to transfer photos from my iPhone. Tech support, help! Can't decide between human hair (feels oh-so-soft and silky) or synthetic hair (light weight but doesn't feel as nice). Price difference is substantial but looking good will attribute to making me feel better. You catch my drift?

Prayer Requests:
1) During my mother's visit, I desire to humbly receive her counsel and help and want to show her how much I appreciate her.
2) Protection over Eugene while he works in Alaska this week.
3) Patience over Maddy and Alicia. I've become so short and abrasive towards them. I pray that I would be more tender and loving towards them, even in the midst of their misbehavior and disobedience.
4) Preparation for Round 2 (Aug 19th). Rumor has it that with each chemotherapy treatment, side effects will intensify. I pray that I would not be fearful nor anxious going into next week's treatment. God will be with me all the way!

Round 1...FIGHT!!!!!

It's been over 24 hours since my initial experience with chemotherapy and I am so ready to fight this battle. Upon entering the Infusion Clinic I felt somewhat proud to be surrounded by fellow cancer patients, to be a part of the elitist group. I was escorted to what looked like a Lazy Boy recliner and was introduced to my Oncology Nurse, Denise.

While I was being prepped, in walks my dear friend, Tina, who is a radiologist in the same hospital. She starts to share with me how easy it is to download sermons onto my iPhone and Denise gingerly asks, "Oh, what church do you attend?" to which Tina replies, "Wellspring Church." Denise then responds, "I've heard of it. I used to attend Creekside while your church occupied the afternoon service." And then she proceeds to tell us she knows Henry (a friend) because they worked at Stanford hospital together. Such evidence of God's grace. To calm my nerves, God provides me with a nurse who not only is a believer (her husband is a former pastor) but she is very familiar with my church.

After all of the excitement of discovering the 2 degrees of separation, it was on to business. The first drug, Adriamycin, was shot through a gigantic needle and took about 20 minutes to inject. Then the second drug, Cytoxan, was a drip that took about 30 minutes. Quick and easy. No side effects during or even after I got home. It wasn't until 7:30 after I spoke with my SIL and BIL, that the nausea set it. Yuck! It reminded me of my worst day during pregnancy nausea. I quickly popped in some anti-nausea drug which, of course, wasn't all that effective since it works to prevent nausea and it was a wee-bit too late at that point. It knocked me out but I woke up at 10pm and nausea resurfaced. I took Zophran (another anti-nausea pill) and that of course didn't work again because that, too, is supposed to prevent nausea. I'm such a procrastinator! Finally, went down at 2AM and woke up feeling refreshed and much like my old self.

Appetite is not all there but I am forcing myself to eat small meals every 3 hours. Hair is still intact and was told I probably will lose most of it by the time I go in for my second treatment (b00!). Thank you to all for your prayers. I would not have been able to make it through yesterday without your loving support.

I will try to post as often as possible, Lord willing. I love you all. God bless!


Peace I live with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Chemo Eve

I feel naked...sans 12 inches of hair naked. I did it. I chopped off chunks of my long locks and plan to donate it to Locks of Love. With the likelihood of losing all of my hair, I wanted to be able to provide a healthy head of hair (pre-chemo) to such a wonderful organization such as Locks of Love. And the wonderful surprise was that my hairdresser did it for FREE! I was so touched by her generosity and hope to introduce her to more of my friends. :)

So much has happened since my last post but I especially want to share about a wonderful surprise my Wellspring sisters did for me. Last Sunday, what was meant to be a Pride and Prejudice viewing party was simply a front for what turned out to be a "Hooray for Helen" surprise party. I was completely blown away. To have 40 pairs of beautiful eyes staring at me and blessing me with their support and love was beyond anything I could ever have imagined. I am so blessed to be surrounded by such godly women who I can proudly call my sisters in Christ. Thank you to all of you for being my rock and prayer warriors. I love you!!!

In 24 hours I will be sitting in an Infusion Clinic with a cocktail of drugs pumping into my veins. I am feeling a wonderful sense of peace knowing that my Father in Heaven will envelope me in his love and mercy and I will have nothing to fear. He is my rock and my fortress; nothing will penetrate through. This is the beginning of an arduous and rough journey but my God will be with me and carry me through every step of the way.

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40: 28-31

Amen!

Post-Op

Long day today. Drove all the way out to KP in Antioch (dang, it's far) for my final procedure before chemotherapy. Surgery was performed on my left chest to insert a port catheter for future chemotherapy treatments. Rather than being poked a million times over in my arm, a port catheter gives the nurses easy access to my vein which will be HUGELY beneficial for me since I will be receiving the drug Herceptin for one full year. That means, KP in Walnut Creek will be my home away from home every three weeks for an entire year. Oi vey!

Today's procedure was quick and easy. I received local anesthesia and was sedated with what they called the "happy drug." The doctor later told Eugene that I was asleep for the entire surgical procedure. Hallelujah! The only discomfort I felt was a stinging sensation when the doctor administered the local anesthesia.

Originally the chemotherapy start date was scheduled for Tuesday, July 27th but it's now been pushed back to Thursday, July 29th. Praise God! This means I'll receive chemo treatments every Thursday (8 cycles every 21 days) and have the weekend to recuperate from future treatments and Eugene won't have to take as much time off from work.

Looks like I've got 6 more days to "party" before I head to the Infusion Clinic. :)

Journey

With only a week away from starting my first chemotherapy treatment, I stand amazed and in awe of God's faithfulness and goodness. As I shared with a friend today, I felt no ounce of anxiety nor fear today and it's due in great part to the prayers I've been receiving from friends and family. By God's grace, I've been casting my fears and worries upon Him and seeking refuge in His arms. What a wonderful God we have!

With the urging from some friends, I decided to record my experience and I hope you'll be encouraged to pray for me during what will undoubtedly be a very challenging and most difficult time. So will you please join me in my journey in battling cancer while seeking the Gospel every step of the way.

Prayer Requests:
1) I would continue to cast all of my cares and anxieties to the Lord. There are times when fear creeps in and the anticipation of beginning treatment drives me crazy.
2) Please lift up my caregivers: Eugene, mother and mother-in-law. I pray that they would not grow weary in the midst of caring for me and my children.
3) Be able to spend quality time with my family before treatment begins.